Lens flares are the WORST

Can you see what’s going on? Because I can’t…

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Some things really grind my gears.

People who talk with their mouth full of food, plug sockets left on without anything plugged in and people “borrowing” my stuff without my permission. Grr. But, nothing quite annoys me like lens flare. It’s the bane of TV and film. No, it’s not arty to obscure what’s happening on-screen with blinding light, it’s stupid.

What brought this ridiculous technique back into the limelight for me was BBC’s new Trust Me drama series, starring the newly announced 13th Doctor, Jodie Whittaker. I sat down with my parents out of interest to watch Jodie play a ‘doctor’, before becoming THE Doctor, and it all seemed tame and enjoyable, until we moved to the operation theatre. Oh my god, my eyes. My poor, relaxed eyes. Lens flare, lens flare and lens flare. Every light becomes a blinding beacon of burning rays directly penetrating your eye sockets and resulting in a migraine. I wish they warned me to wear my sunglasses before sitting down to a relaxing drama programme, jeez.

It’s not just BBC’s Trust Me series that is guilty of trying to permanently damage the audience’s eyes, either. Nope, the most well-known perpetrator is the new series of Star Trek films. Jesus, Abrams, what were you thinking? I’m still uncertain as to what 80% of the first film entailed because I couldn’t see who was talking and what was going on. Does anyone even know what the inside of the Enterprise even looks like? Is it just walls of light? How aren’t the crew burning up? These are the crucial questions on my mind.

This amazing video on YouTube really justifies my gripe with lens flare. It’s not a “small” thing that I can ignore or just move on from, it’s so fundamental to the film that all three Star Trek films feature the style. J.J. Abrams has attempted to explain his excessive use of lens flare in his films, saying that “I love the idea that the future that they were in was so bright that it couldn’t be contained and it just sort of broke through…”. I can kind of see where he’s coming from? Nah, not really, he’s crazy. No matter what you say J.J., lens flare will never prevail!

I would love to discuss with you the fine details of using lens flare in film, but the thought of doing so makes me angry. So, instead I’m going sit in a dark room, close my eyes, and wait until the next episode of Game of Thrones comes on.

 

Alexander Jones